I wrote this post in September or October, I don't remember which. I opted not to post it at the time-but now, today, on this lunch break, I'm sharing a bit more of me with you.
***
People keep asking me why I look different.
If I’ve changed my hair or…they just can’t put their finger on it. And then they look for a long second, examining me. Trying to figure it out. I have nothing to tell them. My hair is the same, my make-up is usual, my outfit is typical.
But what I can offer them -- is that I am awake.
There is no good way to describe the way you feel when you wake up.
Let me clarify:
There is no good-enough way to explain to people the feeling deep down of coming alive again.
I was caught in sleep for months, it feels. Pressing the snooze button, slowly seeking consciousness. Deciding I could sleep a bit longer.
But that’s not how sleep works.
Sleep is not for hiding-- it is for rest.
When the time came that I was shown that I was no longer resting, but hiding—I woke up.
Thankfully, it was just in time for Autumn, the consistent time of year in which I feel most awake.
Thankfully, it was just in time for Autumn, the consistent time of year in which I feel most awake.
When the weather turns cold
And leaves carpet the sidewalks
And squirrels become particularly defensive. (They’re even a little scary about it. But that’s their thing to work through.)
It’s as though the tectonic plates of your life have shifted and you begin to feel your life quake.
Things are moving, sliding, rushing, creeping, to places you never would have expected. All the while things are moving back to places you thought were permanently barren.
Life springs forth, and moves forward.
Life goes on.
And so do you.
Hang tight.
